It’s been almost a year and a half since FOREVER MAYBE was shot. It’s a short film I made after coming back to NYC from INTERIOR CHINATOWN. I was itching to make something with everything I learned from being in Los Angeles. I knew I wasn’t ready to dive into another feature film. To be honest, after making the first feature film, I felt so beaten down that I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to make another film. I was that traumatized. Now that I look back, I wonder how I survived. How did it end up the way it did and how did I even manage to finish the film? Looking back now, I am so proud of myself for making it through. Sometimes, you just gotta make it through. Finish what you set out to do.
A short film is the perfect litmus test to see whether I still have it in me. The process was similar to the feature in that you still have to assemble a team, you still have people doubting you, and you still have that naggy inner voice telling you: don’t do it! Also, because I wanted to work with another SAG union actor, the whole project went through the SAG signatory process (I chose to use the Short Project Agreement because I wanted to join SAG-AFTRA badly, so we went through the entire process of getting payroll, insurance, and filling out the many forms that’s required). There was another contract that we could’ve used (Microbudget Agreement) to streamline certain things, but that will not allow me to join the union. Although this is a one-day shoot, the process is still the same. As a person who have gone through many admin positions in my life, I didn’t find the paperwork scary. It was just that time was against us, and there were a lot of papers to fill out/asking for the same information over and over again!
After we finished a cut of the film in spring 2024, something felt off; so Christine, the editor, and I took a break (I also got a new full-time job during that time period, so lots were happening). Ended up editing a bit of it a few months later and then found someone who can work on post-sound, which is another beast/another expense. It was all done around December + the film was submitted to various film festivals.
Lo and behold, this film didn’t get in any film festivals. Technically, we’re still waiting for one more festival’s response, but I am not banking on it, nor do I see it as an important way for this film to be seen. So tonight, on 09.03.2025, I shared it on Instagram and it already reached audiences online. Although I was deeply saddened about it not being a part of any film festivals, having people watch + responding to it online, made me wonder why I was beating myself up about it not playing in a film festival in the first place. Maybe I thought if it was a part of a film festival, it will make others think I’m “making it” as a filmmaker. Validation galore… How silly of me to think that way.
My next film, BIZ OF VIZ, is all about film festivals’ struggles. That’s all I’m gonna say for now because a lot of shit goes down and a lot of questions are asked and there may never be any answers. More to come in the next month or two about this new project. Stay tuned!