Lately, I have been feeling a bit stressed. At times, I wondered if I had made the right decision to become an artist amd organizer. It feels like a constant struggle because I have a lack of knowledge within the field of acting & I don't have a mentor and it is hard navigating this path on my own; and working at a nonprofit with limited resources can be exhausting. I only wish I can find answers to my long list of questions, and sometimes the only person I can turn to is myself. It's hard. On the surface, it seems so easy. But in reality, I feel like I have to put in 10x the effort to produce work, and not get anything in return. I never asked for anything in return, because I chose this path on my own. My mom doesn't know what I'm doing, or she is playing dumb... but sometimes I wish I can just tell her what my dreams are: to create a kickass experience at the film festival for the staff, audience, filmmakers, and volunteers and to become the best actor I can be. I'm just starting out in this long, hard journey--and it is just gonna get tougher. There is a lot of pressure I give myself, and I know I should let it go before I burn out. This kind of pressure pushes me to the edge sometimes, but I keep telling myself that it is all gonna be worth it once it is over. Maybe when more staff comes on board, or when I find a mentor, it'd be easier. But for now, I just go to the gym and run miles to relieve the stress. (Hopefully, I won't develop monster calves :P).