The World's Greatest

In a month, I will give birth. Not that kinda baby though. Haha. More like the creative baby I've been carrying around for the past two years. I've been writing a solo show called THE WORLD'S GREATEST since January 2014. The story is about a badass Chinatown chick and her relationship with friends and family, and her journey in making it out of a failing NYC public high school. It sounds so serious, but it's a comedy. Haha.. Or at least the way it's written and the performance leans towards comedy. When the world is somewhat falling apart around you, comedy is the best medicine, yeah?

So the show's idea started in 2011. I just graduated from Smith College and had zero plans lined up. I was at home, on the couch, staring at the LSATs Kaplan books, but not really wanting to open it up. Aka no desire to study for that test. I don't know what came over me, but I wrote a monologue about a girl being accused of cheating on a test. She believes she's been wronged, but other kids in the class got no power to back her up and the teacher is already dead set on getting her suspended. It's like a childhood flashback but the intensity increased ten folds. Hahaha.. I started writing more and more, developing this crazy character. And then real life hit. I have to look for a job that pays. I can't be sitting around anymore. I stopped writing.

Landed a job with the government and I just felt a stronger desire to be elsewhere, doing something creative like acting and writing. Man. I walked to work for 30 minutes everyday and reflected. Far East Movement came out with their first big record album and Jeremy Lin came outta nowhere. I was like what? But then I found out they worked for years to get to where they are now. I was like if these kids can do it, I can do it too. And besides, life is too short. Gotta take chances while you're young. Just fuckin do it. So I did. I quit the job and never looked back.

But damn. It was hard. I studied acting for 1.5 years, and then some more, so in total 3 years. In between, I worked at admin jobs, did translation jobs, and hustled jobs here and there.

I look through castings everyday on Backstage and Actors Access. Backstage has some of the weirdest and most stereotypical shit, and Actors Access has an algorithm where if you have a reel, you're on top of the list, but if you don't, you're at the bottom pile. I don't have a reel. I paid to meet agents and casting directors for a few months, which went nowhere.  I'm like fuckkk.

Then I saw the solo show class being offered by my acting teacher, Seth Barrish. In that class, you can write your own materials and workshop it. It was my chance to write a story that makes sense to the world I came from. It's also a chance for me to showcase myself. I wrote and wrote. Then I hit a wall. Then I worked on a short film, and I stopped writing the solo show.

Then life happened and I had to work another 9 month gig to support myself. I worked on the solo show on the side and submitted it to the 2015 NY Fringe Festival and got rejected. I was so devastated. After that, I was like, I gotta get my shit together and work on it some more. I can't give up.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that: you have to motivate yourself. You cannot sit around and wait for someone to okay your work. You have to give yourself permission.

After wondering if I should just do this or not, I decided to self-produce two previews in May and I invited people whom I thought would appreciate it. Or to put it more simply, who would I want to come and see the show if I were to die right after the second preview. It was a crazy process where I hired a photographer, designer, and a director to put tangibles together. I took a leap of faith and asked (more like stalked) MC Jin if he's willing to direct it. And he said yes! I freaked the fuck out. He's a legend and I've been following his work since high school. After he said yes, I was thinking: am I dreaming right now? Can someone punch me in the face, so that I know I'm not dreaming? (ok, don't punch my face. I don't know how to fight)

The next phase came to actually inviting and asking people over and over to come (snail mail, email, texting, the whole shebang). I was so stressed out throughout this whole invite period and process, but I'm thrilled to announce both shows are sold out (only holding two tickets for the first night. Both tickets are on hold for two important people I really want to come and see the show). 

I think all in all, this whole show brought out everything I've been wanting to do with an acting career. I finally get to play someone I'm proud and excited about. It also brought out a lot of insecurities I have about myself as a writer and performer.

I applied for the NY International Fringe Festival again with a new draft in January 2016--but what if I get rejected again? But now, at this moment, I have this I don't care about rejection anymore attitude. If I don't get in Fringe, I will still self-produce the crap out of this show. I just want to share this story with the world. 

I'm ready. Are you?

2016 hustle

Has it already been two weeks since 2016 arrived? Usually people write out their new years resolution the week before or the hour before the year ends. Me? I wait till two weeks later because... well... 2016 was off to a great start where I blacked out during New Years Eve, as in, I fell in the shower a few times and threw up like crazy the next day. In other words, a crazy hot mess. Sorry to everyone who had to witness that. 2015 was a crazy year, and it ended like how the year went: a mess. I'm never going to do that again and will carbo-load before. Promise.

Ok, 2016, let's see. This is going to be crazy or sound crazy, but my main hustle this year is to put on the solo show. Aside from a side hustle here and there to make some pocket cash, nothing else. Solo show, you be my main boo boo.

In the past, I committed myself to so many things that I put my passions and goals in the backburner. This year, nuh-uh! I'm gonna focus on me and pursuing the arts 100%. No. More. Distractions. And no one can stop me. What does this mean? It means I can't chill/frivolously spend money. Sorry, if you calling to chill, I'm gonna be like: "if I can't bring over a bottle of wine and some fruits or cookies, I ain't  coming."

Another thing is: I might be sassy for a while. The character I created is so damn sassy--sassy like Cookie Lyon from EMPIRE. She is scared, but she is driven. She needs to be sassy to get through tough times. I normally have a fraction of her sass, but these days, I'm honing myself to have more of that so that I can own more of her/the stage. It might change me, but it is a good thing. Time to let the inner freak out.

Speaking of freak(y), taking this next step is the freakiest. This is where I have to find a director to work with to refine the work. When you write something for the past two years, you think everything you write is awesome--or at least you're protective of it. But once you hand it over to the director, (s)he can add/subtract what you've already written. It's a collaborative effort, and it's an important one. It's gonna be tough to find someone who wants to work with this piece. I already reached out to someone whom I see fit, but will that person agree? I don't know. I really hope we can work out something amazing. Crossing fingers. Until then, please pray for me.

I'm also going to be in San Francisco in March 9-17 for CAAMFest and Los Angeles in April from April 20-29 for LAAPFF. If you're around, holla at ja gurl. Would love to see you. And do you have a couch or floor space? I need a spot to crash. Help an artist out. :-)

The hustle stays real in 2016. What is something you've always wanted to do creatively? Start in 2016, dammit. Just do that shizzzzz!

Ok?

Good.

2015

Today is Christmas Eve. Meaning 2015 is 'bout to be over, which means it's a great time to sum up what happened this year. 2015 is a year filled with emotions. Early on, I found out something that I spent two months crying about it. I cried about it on my way to work, at work, after work, on my way home, at home... you get the point. Then, about a third way through, I thought I fell in love for the first time. I cried about it on my way to work, at work, after work, on my way home, at home... you get the point. The thing is, I cried a lot; and maybe that's how I got the eye infection. But all that crying taught me, it's okay to cry about things. It's okay to let it all out. And in the end, everything is going to be okay. Two important things I learned: people are the way they are; accept them as they are. Never never never never never never put your mind/body/soul on the line for anyone who doesn't give two shits about you. Life is too short to waste your energy on people who ain't even matter. Go through the 'mo gracefully, walk out gracefully--cuz in the end, you doing what's right for yourself is what matters. All in all, I found an emotional strength within myself that I thought I never had. It look a while for me to realize how much I can handle; but alas, you live and you learn.

2015 is a year of balance. I worked a full-time job at AALDEF (Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund) to support my dreams of one day becoming a full-time artist. I finished up the contract towards the end of May, and then woke up the next day ready to work with AAIFF (Asian American International Film Festival). I picked things up quite easily again since I've done it before; it's just the time deadlines this time around that made it challenging. Well guess what!? I love me a challenge. I worked with such a great team to make AAIFF what it is--and then it was over. I still think about how much we had to do to make the film festival what it is, and how much fun we have when guests and audience members come to town. Both AALDEF and AAIFF is all about community and social justice--representation in legal/media fronts, so it motivates me to keep doing work. It's tiring; it's tiring; but sometimes, it's all worth it.

2015 is a year I started to write again. I topped the year off by binge writing the solo show (a solo show is a theatre piece performed by one person) for two weeks straight. Then I submitted the rough draft to the New York International Fringe Festival (it's a theatre festival that happens in NYC every summer). Then I got rejected towards the end of April. No biggie ya know, cuz this industry, and in life, you get no's 99% of the time. I got hurt and thought about giving up; gave up looking at the solo show piece for the entire summer; BUT, I realized how much I believed in the story, picked up my laptop, edited, wrote more, took out some, edited more, and BAM, I finished writing a third draft in October right before I left for Asia. I printed out and took the piece to Hong Kong and Japan with me, hoping I'll memorize it. Well, I memorized freshmen/bits of sophomore year at the very least. I'm still memorizing it. I have eight more pages to go. I got this.

2015 is a year for an upgrade. I took two acting classes at the Barrow Group Theatre to continue to work on the craft, and then got casted in a 15 minute play. I also got my headshots retaken by the talented talented David Noles and beautiful/masterful makeup artist Anna. I printed them and printed out new business cards too. I invested a portion of my earnings on these marketing materials, and I love it! You sometimes have to invest in you to grow your business. So spend money, and do it right. Upgrade yourself.

2015 is a year for travels. I went to Philly twice for work--once in January to meet with elderly Chinese voters who didn't get to vote, and then in the summer for a photoshoot with Nom Wah Tea Parlour. I think it's a quaint city I did not have the time to personally explore. I'll be back! In November, I spent the entire month in Asia. 15 days in Hong Kong, 3 days in Macau, then 10 days in Japan. I spent time with family and some friends in HK, explored Macau without going into the casinos, and then went nuts and fell in love with Japan. All this time in Asia allowed me to really sit down and reflect on the bigger picture--what is it that you're trying to do, Judy? Are you doing enough of it? Keep ya ass moving and stop thinking and start doing shit. Ok? <-- yeah, that's how I talk to myself. Bahaha.. Tough love (aka the ways Asians make it through in life).

That pretty much sums up 2015 in a nutshell. I have a lot of GOALS I wanna accomplish in 2016 that I'll write out in another post. Keeping the hustle alive and keeping my eyes wide open for the upcoming year, so let's end 2015 with a big bang. 

Bang on, my friends. (Ok, that sounded weird, but who gives two shits!?)