Monologue 10: Go Buck on a Motherf*cker!

Seriously, this is my favorite play.  It is horrible because I curse left and right, but I think the inner "hood" girl in me comes out.  I've never "acted" like this in front of other people -- wait, when I get angry at work, this side of me comes out -- but it is definitely something I can bring out if I want to.  Many people think I'm a nice sweet girl when they meet me.  When I was at Trader Joes, the cashier asked me what I was reading, and I said The Motherfucker with the Hat.  He laughed.  He said, "But you're so sweet looking.."  Anyway, he doesn't know anything about me. At first, I tried recording this video in the subway station because it looked gritty -- perfect for this monologue.  But then I realized it might be better indoors.  It is quieter and I can focus more.  I did several takes.  The first take just to warm-up to the lines (I record my videos from first-take on because sometimes I am more relaxed during the first go), and as I get more and more familiar with the lines... the circumstances kick in and I get so angry and I do it so much faster.  I always wonder if I need to slow down towards the end.  I end up having two cuts.  First cut is just getting the lines down, and then surprisingly, second take was good.  Towards the 5th and last take, my words became so much more fluid.   I get more relaxed and I also allow myself to just speak like an normal person.  When you're so caught up in playing a character -- a make-believer, that you forget to act like a normal human being.  So a future assignment I'll throw myself is just to stop thinking what an actor does or how a normal human being acts, and just act.

I hope I don't have to think  and just do it.  But it takes lot of practice.  Practicing now...

Healthier Heart

Since last April, I have been going through a roller coaster with my health. At times, I will feel normal; but on some days, I'm off. I don't want to go into too much detail about what has been happening, I just know some things need to change. And today, I'm finally going to make a commitment and join the gym (commitment, gasp!).  This is not the only time I had to make some sort of physical adjustment.  From age 8-14, I was overweight from eating a bunch of junk food (I had chips with rice--you can never beat that combo). I was fat and out of shape. In junior high school, our teacher brought us to run along the East River.  I tried jogging for a bit, but I ran out of breath.  I asked if I can do some racewalking instead. Thinking about it now makes me laugh. Of course he said no and I had to run... everybody else was running. I almost died because we had to do a mile. I kept telling myself I can't do this, I can't do this. But my teacher came right beside me and asked if we can run together. I felt so embarassed, yet happy that he asked. And so, we ran together. Slowly, but surely, we finished the mile.

After that day, the whole class would run together during gym time. After a few classes, we also formed a track team. I joined and chose to run distance. I fell in love with running. I stopped running in high school and picked it up in college again. After college, I ran outside during the summer, but I would always give myself excuses--it was too hot or too cold. Now that it is indoors, I don't have any excuses. Commitment. I consider this an early Christmas present. I'm pretty excited about getting fit and training for a healthier heart. Cheers to a healthier me! :)