Seriously, this is my favorite play. It is horrible because I curse left and right, but I think the inner "hood" girl in me comes out. I've never "acted" like this in front of other people -- wait, when I get angry at work, this side of me comes out -- but it is definitely something I can bring out if I want to. Many people think I'm a nice sweet girl when they meet me. When I was at Trader Joes, the cashier asked me what I was reading, and I said The Motherfucker with the Hat. He laughed. He said, "But you're so sweet looking.." Anyway, he doesn't know anything about me. At first, I tried recording this video in the subway station because it looked gritty -- perfect for this monologue. But then I realized it might be better indoors. It is quieter and I can focus more. I did several takes. The first take just to warm-up to the lines (I record my videos from first-take on because sometimes I am more relaxed during the first go), and as I get more and more familiar with the lines... the circumstances kick in and I get so angry and I do it so much faster. I always wonder if I need to slow down towards the end. I end up having two cuts. First cut is just getting the lines down, and then surprisingly, second take was good. Towards the 5th and last take, my words became so much more fluid. I get more relaxed and I also allow myself to just speak like an normal person. When you're so caught up in playing a character -- a make-believer, that you forget to act like a normal human being. So a future assignment I'll throw myself is just to stop thinking what an actor does or how a normal human being acts, and just act.
I hope I don't have to think and just do it. But it takes lot of practice. Practicing now...