What kind of artist are you?

Yesterday, as I sat and observed others' performance in class, I thought about acting as a career for Asian Americans.  I looked around me (saw nobody that looked like me) and thought about how everyone else will have greater odds in this industry because of their appearance.  Thinking about this certainly distracted my performance.  Sometimes I just can't help but think about the realities of this industry.  On the other hand, I think about what it is still missing, and if I can bring something new to the table. What kind of artist am I?  what kind of artist do I want to become?  These are the questions I constantly have to ask myself.  My boss asked this question last year, and I didn't have the answer to it.  Now, I have a clearer sense of direction.  I want to be an artist that write/act in my own material.  I don't want to wait for another person to create or tell the story... I want to be a storyteller!

Right now, I'm in the midst of developing a script.  I don't know whether to call it a screenplay or play.  I did playwriting in college, but I focused a lot more on dialogue/character development rather than the form.  I secretly wish it can go both ways.

(Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Had food poisoning this week and was busy working/watching new shows & movies.  Ever since I started this blog, my goal was to update at least 2-3 times a week--ahh, wishful thinking!)

The City of Angels - Life Lesson: Nostalgia

For almost 5 years, i always wondered: when will i be able to visit LA?  After taking many risks this past year, I finally decided to book a trip to the city of angels. It will be my sixth time in California--I have been to San Francisco three times, San Diego & Santa Barbara once--but it'd be my first time in lala land!  I began to research different places to visit, or people I'd like to see/meet, especially those who have been influential to the Asian American community, for CineVue. In the end, I had the pleasure to speak with Abe & Anderson at Visual Communications, UCLA Professor Emeritus Robert Nakamura, and Giant Robot founder/owner Eric Nakamura. Though most of the interviews were for work, it didn't feel like i was working. It felt more like i was just speaking with friends who are passionate about the same things i do: APA identity formation, cinema, and the arts. We spoke about a lot of things, but some topics that stuck out to me was: how things have been done in the past, how technolgy changes the dynamics of storytelling, and how only true dedication and motivation can help you succeed--even if you have very little money.

In one instance, I asked the interviewee about the past and future, and he said he doesn't want to think about what was, or how it would be in the future; he just wants to focus on the present and do the best he can now. He also mentioned it is not good to be nostalgic because we have to move on forward and do things even better than what we have done in the past.  I consider this piece of advice a life lesson.

This life lesson still keeps me thinking because i am pretty nostalgic when it comes to a lot of things--especially when it comes to the APA community.  I always  geek out and go googoogaga over archival materials at work (stuff that happened almost 40 years ago!) and I think about what it was like back then.  I always compare the good ol' times and forget to look at what we have or can do now to make it as good as it was years ago.  From listening to those who have been working in the community for a long time, and how they work to accomplish smaller goals now instead of looking back, it really inspires me to do the same.

I need to start changing my mindset and focus more on the present & live in the moment.  I need to look in the past only for a point of reference, and not grow nostalgic over everything. Afterall, it's about pushing boundaries and forging forward.  So to nostalgia, so long!

The City of Angels - Days of Discovery

When I booked the trip out to LA, my whole intention was to check out Kollaboration Star, a show consisting of finalists who have won their regional competition and is competing for the title to have a chance to perform in the MNet Music Awards in Hong Kong.  I figured I'd be in for a treat because everyone is so talented.  And yes, the show completely blew me away.  It was not only the talent, but the heart, passion, and soul that transcended through their art.  I can see and feel what they were all about--special congrats to Mike Izon from Kollaboration Honolulu for winning.

After Kollaboration Star ended, it was time to check out what this city has to offer!  I thought LA would be walkable, but boy, I was wrong.  We had to drive everywhere--from Glendale to San Gabriel Valley to Webminister to Downtown LA.  Sometimes I get so carried away, I would forget to take photos, but I'm glad I had the ability to take pics of these landmarks and hot joints while out here.

And finally, I have been able to spot meaningful art, and check out food joints that are hidden.  It just comes to show that your art/restaurant doesn't have to be fancy--it just has to be good, and people will naturally gravitate towards it.

I still have one more post for this LA Adventure.  There were so many things to see and do ... I wish I had more time to do more!  This only means I have to visit again.  LA, you'd want me back, right? :)

The City of Angels - Settling in West

The first day is almost over.  It is 2:08am in LA, but my body clock is still living on east coast time, so it's already 5:08am!  Today was mostly chillin' and settling into the space: the city, the food, and the people. The weather was surprisingly cloudy and rainy. I always imagined LA to be sunny and bright, so it was a bit disappointing. But I have a feeling the sun will come out tomorrow-can't wait to get some vitamin d! I captured today's trip in a few quick shots.

Throughout the day, Linda, KNY team member, and I, had the pleasure to meet most of Kollaboration Seattle's team. Everyone is so nice, and when we were reflecting on our day, we agreed that everyone whom we have met (a lot of folks we just met today) are already acting like family. There's so much love going on that I cannot wait to meet everyone else from the Kollaboration Global team. It is Kollaboration's magic that is bringing and holding us together. #dowork #dreambig

Oh, and if you are in LA, Kollaboration Star is happening on Friday, November 16 at The Alex Theatre in Glendale. To buy tickets, go to Kollaboration's website.

See you all there! :)

Hong Kong

It's almost been a year since I visited Hong Kong.  This is a photo I took while I was in Tsim Tsa Tsui.  I knew I wanted to check out the nightlife, but still didn't have a chance.  But hey, I checked out the nightlights.  It's about the same, right? Anyway, I'm heading off to Los Angeles in a few minutes.  Ahh, first time there, can't wait!

My heart is in the arts.

I remember last year around this time, I had a mental breakdown because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with my life.  Maybe I was so anxious to know because in college, everything was so structured with a given deadline, that I, for one, thought there was a deadline to this thing called life.  So I went around and asked for advice in areas that strikes my interest.  It started with all professions deemed worthy, ranging from lawyers, to business folks, to professors/phd students from well known companies and institutions. I always ask about their journey:  how they got where they are today, if it was their passion, and if they were happy.  Most of the time, people tell me they are happy with their profession, but it took a long time to get there. One person, in particular, asked me what field i am interested in.  I said, "I don't know. A lawyer? A politician? I really want to work for the community."

Looking back now, it is a quite funny how i associate community work with being a lawyer or politician. Is that a default answer for all aspiring organizers? When I said, "I don't know," I actually did know what I wanted to do, but was always afraid to say or admit it. What if others laugh at my dreams? My dream is always to work for the community, and become an actor and writer. I rarely tell anyone though because what if I fail?  I struggled from within tremendously while working for Congresswoman Velazquez with this question; but after being surrounded with older co-workers and listening to stories of constituents' lives, I began to realize life is too short to live up to someone else's expectations.  And so, I worked up the courage to admit to myself that being an organizer and artist is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

At this point, when I compare myself now to who I was one year ago, I see a huge gap. I see myself grow in ways I never imagined. I am still shocked at how I made these decisions without worrying about consequences.  I am not making any kind of big bucks or rocking brand names, but I am at a really happy place right.  I cannot wait to see what is in store for the next year, and many more to come.  And I hope to use this blog as a way to document the journey along the way.