Well, well, well, if it isn’t another one-year-later blog post. Time flies, eh?
A bit of a life update: I moved to Los Angeles in February and I’m moving back to NYC next week. For the past four months, I have been here for a gig (will write more about this later), and everyday while here, I ask myself: should i move here? If these past few months is a litmus test on whether I should or shouldn’t, my mind and wallet is telling me I shouldn’t, while my heart is telling me I should. I hate it when this happens.
While all the stars may have aligned earlier this year and I moved here within a week’s notice, I self-professed within a month that I’ll move here, permanently. I woke up telling myself that every morning. I carried on the hope that if I say it enough, it will come true. I figured I’ll be able to finish up this gig, either continue on it, or at least find a way to stay here. I can finally leave NYC behind and figure out how to break in all that is Hollywood. Then the entire town started murmuring about the Writers Guild of America strike; then, within a blink of an eye, it happened. All opportunities I imagined myself applying for quickly evaporated. I saw my dreams die, and my heart ached… hard.
During this period of agony, I also thought long and hard about the realities of making a life here. Although I have friends and a lot of acquaintances in LA, I started to think deep about the realities of us actually hanging out. Say if we do not live on the same side of town (West Side vs. East Side), will we ever see each other? If there are no big community events, like LAAPFF, will people bother to initiate a gathering? Why does every hang feel so effortful? Do people actually want to hang out with me? Seems like this town is filled with people who want to hang with other people “on their level” and it’s not as open as NYC, where people from all walks of life can co-mingle or at least are open to the possibilities of meeting new people. I find it so hard to make friends and actually trust people here. Must be the water!
Logistically, I also don’t have a car, nor have I driven in 11 years since i passed my driver’s license test, so really, I don’t want to kill anybody! I took the Metro + subway here back in 2018 and I still remember almost getting smacked by a pair of shoes because the woman who got off the bus the same time as I did was hurling it towards someone else. I was so lucky to have dodged it, but I’m hypersensitive and haven’t taken public transit since.
One thing I will do this summer when I return to NYC is that I will be taking driving lessons again to refresh my skills, so that the next time I’m back in LA, I’m ready to rent a car and hit the road. Does it mean I’ll move here eventually? MAYBE. I just know i need to have something lined up here for me to work on before I pull the plug.
In less than a week, I’m going to be back in NYC: plotting my next film + figuring out how I can make it happen. The dream is still alive and well. I need to finish writing because without this script aka blueprint, I have nothing. Time to get to work.
The night before I left, my mom said something at the dinner table, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. She says: "NYC is the best city in the world.” This time, I think she might just be right.
P.S. It’s already my birthday in NYC. ;)