Well, oh well, what do we have here? Another once a year post? YUP.
The skinny for this post is: I got an agent! I got an acting agent!!! Feels weird and surreal typing that. As someone who tried about a decade ago blindly looking for an agent, to just doing my own thing, to finally getting an agent, feels freakin’ CRAZY. Those of you who went through this process knows what I mean. Or maybe you got an agent on your first try… possibly through a friend’s referral, to which I say: woot woot! Lucky ducky!
Looking back, I know why I didn’t get an agent ten years ago (or was it more than that)? I was green, non-union, and I haven’t done any work to make me reppable—yes, that isn’t a word, but ya know. This time around, I have made a lot of my own luck/opportunities by creating my own work. All those years of work, I now have something to show for. Whether it’s Hollywood enough, I know for a fact it isn’t. But this is my starting point. This is one of the first step in accessing auditions and keep sharpening that pencil.
Speaking of sharpening the pencil, I enrolled myself in multiple Casting Director Workshops. I was itching to move forward with acting, so I signed up for my first Casting Director’s Workshop on March 1. Boy, oh boy. When I tell you I freak so hard before getting up to class to doing the scene, I’m not kidding. It’s a combination of nerves, trying to memorize the lines, and making sure I’m not acting the fool in front of the Casting Director. I felt so nervous because I felt like everyone, Casting Director included, is going to judge the shit out of me. But that wasn’t the case! Everyone was so loving and encouraging. It was my first “class” back since 2019 and I just felt so alive being in that first class. Everything seemed to be going. <3
When work wasn’t going so well, and I was sitting in a second Casting Director class mid-March, I just told myself maybe I should push myself forward even more in acting by signing up for the NYC Super Showcase, which featured 5 Talent Agents, 7 Talent Managers, 4 Commercial Agents, 3 Voiceover Agents. If you really sit to think about it, it’s like buying lottery, except, you can control your odds by prepping, playing, and praying. I possibly fumbled more times than most actors in the cohort, but when a direction was given, I was quick to jump on it and adjust. My weakest spot is definitely my nerves. I need to figure out a way to calm it down. I need to stop freaking out.
On that note, I am on my third Casting Director Workshop series—it’s a 3-part virtual class with one of the biggest Casting Directors on the planet. I, again, fumbled so hard. I keep comparing myself to others: their self-tape setup is so awesome! omg, they actually are working actors on network television!!! wow, they’re so pretty… like bro, WTF Judy, snap out of it! This is all to say: I wish I didn’t compare myself to others. That, on top of my nerves, all my lines (I accidentally typed lives—hey… that makes sense T-T;;) goes out the window. I do take notes, not only for the scene I’m doing… I also take notes on what other actors are doing. I learn so much watching everyone’s performance. I’m dusting off the acting bible, aka the Moleskine where I keep all the acting tips. Will keep it in my back-pocket and review when audition time comes. Auditions will come—hopefully soon!
In the interim, I have one last class left with this mega-big Casting Director (see previous paragraph), then I have classes with 5 more Casting Directors. I am hooked! (Okay, it sounds like I’m addicted… possibly addicted…). These classes are a way to introduce myself to Casting Directors in NYC + I treat it as an acting gym. Like Timothee Chalamet, I want to be one of the greats... Will try my absolute best to give it my all during these classes + soak up all the notes.
It took so long for me to get here + to put myself out there like this. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long. Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s self-doubt. Heck, maybe I still have both of these gremlins sitting to the right and left of my shoulders. Every time I go up, I’m learning how to quiet it some more. The more I’m in front of these big wigs, the more it will be tamed. At least that’s the hope. :’)