#21ANDOVER opens in theatres today!

I had an opportunity to watch 21&OVER on Wednesday night before it premieres theatrically today, and boy was it something!  It was a crossover between THE HANGOVER and SUPERBAD--with crazy party scenes, obnoxious moments,  and just some plain cringe-worthy scenes. It will surely make you reminisce  those good ol' college days.

Overall, I was thrilled to see Justin Chon on the big screen. I discovered him through Youtube, and I secretly dubbed him as the "screaming Youtube guy." In 21&OVER, he plays Jeff Chang, the stereotypical obedient Asian son. At first, I was like oh no, not another blockbuster with this typecasted Asian male character. But as the plot moves along, Justin broke out of the norm and became a wild party animal that falls unconscious for most of the film. Hilarity ensues, and after all is said and done, he stands up for what he most believes in and confronts his father. (This reminded me of Mike Chang's featured episode on GLEE). He stood up for himself and confessed his passion in music. That pasion for the arts is something more and more Asian Americans can relate to nowadays.

Maybe two years ago, if I was still writing my thesis about Asian Americans in the arts movement and this film came out, I don't know how I'll make of it... because on one hand, yes it is stereotypical and shit, but the twist at the end was the saving grace--although I must say, it was a bit abrupt. I wish we got to hear or see more of Justin's backstory: his stress in school, how he interacted with Francois Chau who plays his father, and what drove him to that breaking point of letting go and wanting nothing more but his passion for music.

This movie is certainly something I can relate to, and I'm sure it will take you on an unforgettable journey. It opens everywhere today, so go watch it and help Justin Chon buy that speedboat!

ALL THE RAGE | Martin Moran

Today, I had the pleasure to catch a rehearsal of ALL THE RAGE, a solo show performed by Martin Moran and directed by Seth Barrish (my TBG teacher).  At first when Seth invited the class to go watch the show, I hesitated a bit because I wasn't sure how well I'll hold up during the show.  I always have a tendency to fall asleep during plays (opps, please don't kill me), or I will end up super confused if characters talk too fast--or I just don't get what's coming out of their mouths.  But today, I understood everything. In short, Martin Moran's performance blew me away.  Not only did he work every part of the stage--the way he told the story, from beginning to end, adding in all the complexities of meeting different people to discover his own voice & confidence to confront his fear/secret, was empowering.  At some point, I felt tears rushing towards the tip of my eye, and then at another point, I mhmm'd in agreement.  As he went on the emotional journey/discovery, he reminded me what it means to be brave.  I am hardly moved by theatre pieces, but this one definitely made me feel something.

The show runs from January 19 through February 24 at The Peter Jay Sharp Theatre on 416 West 42 Street (between 9 + 10 Avenue).  Check out the Facebook page for more information, and let me know if you're going.  I hope to catch it again!

Growing Up, Moving On Out.

Growing up, I never thought about growing up.  It's true.  I always knew we would all get older someday, but I never thought about what it really means--until about a few months ago.  I met with my mentor, whom I consider one of my best friends, and we were catching up about life.  One thing that came out of the conversation is pursuing one's dream and what it really means to be independent while doing so--especially when people around you aren't aware of what you're doing/if they will be supportive, if at all, when they find out.  Having this conversation forced me to think about moving on out.  It was and still is so scary. To give a little backstory, I am currently living with my brother, and we are one floor apart from our mother.  We have our own space, but we are still very close to her.  We hang out on Saturdays during her day-off; we have dinner together everyday; we watch television together; we talk and (sometimes) yell at each other (that's the way we talk, btw).  In other words, we are very close as a family--and many factors have led up to this point.   When I imagine growing up/older, I never thought about leaving my family behind.  We have been through so much together that I cannot imagine living life without them in it.

Around me, I see a lot of my friends living by themselves or with friends and they appear to be very independent.  It makes me question where I am now; and if I, too, should move out of my comfort zone (my home), and make my own way.   I feel so attached to my family right now, and I don't see myself leaving anytime soon.  But I feel like somewhere down the line, I will need to physically move out of New York City (to LA?), to leave home.

Maybe then, I can live and dream elsewhere.  Will it make me hungrier for my dreams?  I don't know.  For now, I just want to live out everyday as a new way for me to discover a path I can call my own.  It's some scary shit.  Maybe the messy-twenties?  I don't know what is going to happen in the future... only time will tell--and the clock is ticking!

New Year, Same Dreams

2013, it feels weird pronouncing your presence, but i guess you were gonna be here sooner or later. So welcome. 2012 was one of the craziest year, ever!  There were many twist and turns throughout the year: from being lost and confused about what I'm most passionate about after coming back from Hong Kong, to landing a position at the Congresswoman's office, to recognizing life is too short to live out others' expectation of you, to really finding the courage to pursue an unsteady, yet gratifying journey as an actor/writer.  Everything--from decision a to b, took a lot of contemplation. Towards the tail-end of 2012, I kept thinking about how i had the balls to do half of the things i did. But i think they call this growth--or maturity.

For 2013, i want to continue to grow and mature as a worker and artist. I am thankful to be working for an organization i truly believe in, so planning and executing programs will be fun and exciting. I also want to learn and grow more as a performer and writer. I need to go out and watch more shows/movie and read more. I have to finish the script by the end of this month. I have to put in more work. I have to put in more work.

Some personal goals for 2013: -Eat out less and learn how to cook (the pan turned brown and the whole apartment smell burnt... and i was only cooking scrambled eggs!!!) -Recognize people who matter and appreciate them -Stay positive. I've been through a lot in my life that staying positive is something i constantly struggle with. Now that im mindful about it, im gonna work on it. It is a process. Gotta keep my head up. -Stay in shape. I almost died during my first day back at the gym three weeks ago. Now, im kicking ass (hehe jk). I signed up because my body was telling me something. I have to keep working on staying fit, or else i will be breathless/unhealthy again...yikes!

What did you do in 2012 and what are you hoping to accomplish in 2013?

Alive.

The world didn't end yesterday.  Why am I not surprised!?  I still remember the world "ending" was a big topic back in 2000.  Y2K.  Anyone remember that fiasco?  I was in 5th grade and I didn't think too much about it.  But this time, I'm older, and it's a bit different.  Throughout this whole week, I felt worried.  What if the world really did end on December 21, 2012?  They called it DOOM'S DAY for a reason, right? Assuming that we might all die on Doom's Day, I kept reflecting upon this past year--how so much have changed within the past six months and what might happen within the next six months (if there is another six months). I kept going back to the "what-if's."  What if I stayed?  What if I did what others' thought was right for me?  But I cannot stop thinking about the "why-not's."  Why not try to do something you've always wanted to do?  Why not try it now instead of later?  Then, every doubt/fear will disappear.  I think I'm slowly coming to terms with my decisions; and I'm feeling pretty damn good about it all.

Well, I'm glad the world didn't end, and that we're all still alive.  If the world really did end, I lived life with no regrets. Bingo!  Time to keep truckin' & hustlin'!

If the world were to end yesterday, what would be something you'd do to live a "fulfilled" life?

Blind Date?

When I got home tonight, the first thing my mom said to me was:"Judy, there is a guy that is 6'1 with a psychology degree.  Would you like to meet him?"

My first impression was HELL NAW!  And then I thought, I'm only 23--is this really happening?

And then I told my mom: "I'm interested in girls, and girls only." (to keep her from telling me about these "opportunities")

As of now, I'm not interested in dating/seeing anyone.  I'm busy, and I can't imagine being with anyone--because it will take up even more time.  I really need that extra time to sleep--like seriously.  I'm pretty content being by myself or being with my family.  Also, I feel like I have a lot of growing up to do before I want to be with anyone else; and that's the truth.  I want to love myself before I love anyone else.  So for now, I consider my career/growing up my boo.

What kind of artist are you?

Yesterday, as I sat and observed others' performance in class, I thought about acting as a career for Asian Americans.  I looked around me (saw nobody that looked like me) and thought about how everyone else will have greater odds in this industry because of their appearance.  Thinking about this certainly distracted my performance.  Sometimes I just can't help but think about the realities of this industry.  On the other hand, I think about what it is still missing, and if I can bring something new to the table. What kind of artist am I?  what kind of artist do I want to become?  These are the questions I constantly have to ask myself.  My boss asked this question last year, and I didn't have the answer to it.  Now, I have a clearer sense of direction.  I want to be an artist that write/act in my own material.  I don't want to wait for another person to create or tell the story... I want to be a storyteller!

Right now, I'm in the midst of developing a script.  I don't know whether to call it a screenplay or play.  I did playwriting in college, but I focused a lot more on dialogue/character development rather than the form.  I secretly wish it can go both ways.

(Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Had food poisoning this week and was busy working/watching new shows & movies.  Ever since I started this blog, my goal was to update at least 2-3 times a week--ahh, wishful thinking!)

The City of Angels - Life Lesson: Nostalgia

For almost 5 years, i always wondered: when will i be able to visit LA?  After taking many risks this past year, I finally decided to book a trip to the city of angels. It will be my sixth time in California--I have been to San Francisco three times, San Diego & Santa Barbara once--but it'd be my first time in lala land!  I began to research different places to visit, or people I'd like to see/meet, especially those who have been influential to the Asian American community, for CineVue. In the end, I had the pleasure to speak with Abe & Anderson at Visual Communications, UCLA Professor Emeritus Robert Nakamura, and Giant Robot founder/owner Eric Nakamura. Though most of the interviews were for work, it didn't feel like i was working. It felt more like i was just speaking with friends who are passionate about the same things i do: APA identity formation, cinema, and the arts. We spoke about a lot of things, but some topics that stuck out to me was: how things have been done in the past, how technolgy changes the dynamics of storytelling, and how only true dedication and motivation can help you succeed--even if you have very little money.

In one instance, I asked the interviewee about the past and future, and he said he doesn't want to think about what was, or how it would be in the future; he just wants to focus on the present and do the best he can now. He also mentioned it is not good to be nostalgic because we have to move on forward and do things even better than what we have done in the past.  I consider this piece of advice a life lesson.

This life lesson still keeps me thinking because i am pretty nostalgic when it comes to a lot of things--especially when it comes to the APA community.  I always  geek out and go googoogaga over archival materials at work (stuff that happened almost 40 years ago!) and I think about what it was like back then.  I always compare the good ol' times and forget to look at what we have or can do now to make it as good as it was years ago.  From listening to those who have been working in the community for a long time, and how they work to accomplish smaller goals now instead of looking back, it really inspires me to do the same.

I need to start changing my mindset and focus more on the present & live in the moment.  I need to look in the past only for a point of reference, and not grow nostalgic over everything. Afterall, it's about pushing boundaries and forging forward.  So to nostalgia, so long!

The City of Angels - Settling in West

The first day is almost over.  It is 2:08am in LA, but my body clock is still living on east coast time, so it's already 5:08am!  Today was mostly chillin' and settling into the space: the city, the food, and the people. The weather was surprisingly cloudy and rainy. I always imagined LA to be sunny and bright, so it was a bit disappointing. But I have a feeling the sun will come out tomorrow-can't wait to get some vitamin d! I captured today's trip in a few quick shots.

Throughout the day, Linda, KNY team member, and I, had the pleasure to meet most of Kollaboration Seattle's team. Everyone is so nice, and when we were reflecting on our day, we agreed that everyone whom we have met (a lot of folks we just met today) are already acting like family. There's so much love going on that I cannot wait to meet everyone else from the Kollaboration Global team. It is Kollaboration's magic that is bringing and holding us together. #dowork #dreambig

Oh, and if you are in LA, Kollaboration Star is happening on Friday, November 16 at The Alex Theatre in Glendale. To buy tickets, go to Kollaboration's website.

See you all there! :)

My heart is in the arts.

I remember last year around this time, I had a mental breakdown because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with my life.  Maybe I was so anxious to know because in college, everything was so structured with a given deadline, that I, for one, thought there was a deadline to this thing called life.  So I went around and asked for advice in areas that strikes my interest.  It started with all professions deemed worthy, ranging from lawyers, to business folks, to professors/phd students from well known companies and institutions. I always ask about their journey:  how they got where they are today, if it was their passion, and if they were happy.  Most of the time, people tell me they are happy with their profession, but it took a long time to get there. One person, in particular, asked me what field i am interested in.  I said, "I don't know. A lawyer? A politician? I really want to work for the community."

Looking back now, it is a quite funny how i associate community work with being a lawyer or politician. Is that a default answer for all aspiring organizers? When I said, "I don't know," I actually did know what I wanted to do, but was always afraid to say or admit it. What if others laugh at my dreams? My dream is always to work for the community, and become an actor and writer. I rarely tell anyone though because what if I fail?  I struggled from within tremendously while working for Congresswoman Velazquez with this question; but after being surrounded with older co-workers and listening to stories of constituents' lives, I began to realize life is too short to live up to someone else's expectations.  And so, I worked up the courage to admit to myself that being an organizer and artist is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

At this point, when I compare myself now to who I was one year ago, I see a huge gap. I see myself grow in ways I never imagined. I am still shocked at how I made these decisions without worrying about consequences.  I am not making any kind of big bucks or rocking brand names, but I am at a really happy place right.  I cannot wait to see what is in store for the next year, and many more to come.  And I hope to use this blog as a way to document the journey along the way.